Hear ye, hear ye!

IMG_3371The following PSA has been brought to you by a pregnant woman: Pregnant Women Can Be Sensitive!

So, thank you stranger for asking me if I was sure I wasn’t carrying twins. I mean, honestly, what do you expect a woman to look like at 8 months? Not all of us can look like the Duchess when we’re with child… that lucky gal! For the rest of us preggos, this is what 8 months usually looks like. So don’t be alarmed strangers! Your jaw no longer needs to be dropped.

But don’t worry folks, we preggos can bounce right back. Five minutes later, I was like…

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And then stuffing my face with more pancakes. Huzzah!

*******You may now return to your regular broadcasting. Have a nice day!********

Let’s talk about measles…

lifescienceramblings

In 2014 there were 644 documented measles infections according to the CDC. For comparison, in the last 12 years there were never more than 250 confirmed cases each year. As of this writing, there are already 102 confirmed cases in 2015. That statistic can be safely filed under Y for Yikes! So why is a viral infection which was declared eliminated in the US suddenly reappearing? The simple answer is a lack of vaccination. The refusal to vaccinate for a preventable disease is allowing this highly contagious virus to gain a foothold in the US once again. Refusal rates continue to rise despite overwhelming evidence for the safety and efficacy of this vaccine. Therefore, let me try to briefly explain why vaccines are not evil.

What are vaccines?

I still think there is a huge misconception about what exactly happens when a person gets vaccinated. So let…

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Oh Baby!

Hello! Hi! It’s been a while…

And A LOT has changed my friends. For one, I’m having another baby! In 9 weeks. (nine. weeks. gah!) I’m really trying to savor this pregnancy because I’m 99.9% sure this will be the last addition to our little family. However, it’s not easy to do when there’s only a few weeks that you get a chance to enjoy it! To my dismay, I had ‘morning’ sickness in the evenings and at night for the first 16 weeks. Honestly, it’s the only diet that’s ever worked for me. (Ha!) I also had acne and hair loss. Where was this pregnancy glow that I vaguely remembered from my first pregnancy? Turns out, this baby is a GIRL! And she’s stealing my beauty (according to an old wives’ tale). They say each pregnancy is different, I can tell a major difference between carrying a boy and carrying a girl. Even my cravings are different. I can’t get enough milk or chocolate these days. I loathed chicken until now. I’ve switched to decaf coffee (yes, I drink it for the taste) because my body is really sensitive to caffeine this go around. And I’m eating four meals a day. Yikes! Now that I’m in the third trimester, my belly is literally busting at the seams and it’s oh so much harder to chase, pick up, and rock my toddler. But enough complaining! I feel very blessed to be carrying this child. We’ve had our fair share of fertility trials and tribulations and God has given us not one, but two children. And we are forever thankful.

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Hey 2004, I like your television show

I’m back baby doll! Indeed, it’s been a while. And I’ll be honest with you…I’ve been binging on Veronica Mars. Holy 2004! Where was I?! She’s so darn precocious I could slap myself! But alas, the show ends in 2oo7. (Spoiler alert!) Only to reprise in a feature film… hooray! I’m halfway through the series, so I need to start pacing myself…we’ve still got a lot of Summer left y’all. And that my friends is what I’ve been doing with my evenings. Oh and reading novels again. Geez, I really AM on summer vacation! That’s the bad thing about books from the library though…they add undue pressure. Due dates?? It’s like school all over again. I’ll finish reading it when I’m good and ready, thanks! I have a toddler you know…he wakes up early. Speaking of toddler (you knew it was coming!), he has now learned defiance. It only took 26 months, but “No, NO!” is now his favorite phrase. So yeah, that’s been fun. It’s really neat to see him become more communicative. But now that he can tell me what he wants, he repeats it over and over and OVER. There’s no distracting him anymore. He wants what he wants when he wants it…which is now! Lucky for me, his requests aren’t too hard to bring to fruition. With my Mommy powers, I be like…

GIF Credit: aliceinreaderland.com

 

Gideon: Part Deux

I took another shot at it! (Ha, get it?) Actually, Gideon looked so cute in his new outfit (a birthday present from his BFF Luke), that I just had to snap some photos of him in it. Plus, it was overcast and made for great lighting!

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This is a classic Gideon look. I swear I’m an angel.

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This kid has one of those whole face smiles. Swoon!

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Being silly and trying to take a selfie…with a DSLR camera. Not easy!

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He quickly tired of posing for photos and instead started marching around a bed of rocks.

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Then decided to throw the biggest one.

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And just for fun, Daddy let him check out the fountain.

 

Trailer Nerd

FACT: Sometimes I take pleasure in watching trailers on imdb.com and get uber excited for movies that will come out in the next few months. Does that seem like a weird pastime? If so, my husband would agree with you. But I find it very entertaining. Imdb.com is a good way to connect the dots. So and so is in this movie and oh look, she was also in this. That’s where I’ve seen her! What a great filmography this person has! (Nerd alert!)

Anyway, I found some real gems today. Initially, I just wanted to look up Gone Girl because I am currently reading the book. And then I got distracted by all the other trailers. 30 minutes passed, then an hour, and then I thought, I should put this on the blog. Sure, I could be folding laundry or washing the dishes…but…but…it’s the weekend! And it’s a raining! A perfect day for the internet, wouldn’t you say?

One of the trailers I watched had a wonderful surprise….a Mandy Patinkin spotting!

And I be like:tumblr_m5bf3rDsr11rugtvpo1_500

I mean, who doesn’t love Mandy Patinkin? He’s been around forever and he seems like he would be the best grandpa ever! I mainly know him from Criminal Minds (as Jason Gideon) and Homeland (as Saul Berenson). No, we didn’t name our son Gideon because of the Patink but it definitely adds an awesomeness factor! Anyway, I’m getting off track. Here’s the trailer for Zack Braff’s movie, Wish I Was Here.

Looks like a goody, no? I’m a sucker for these indie-esque films. 500 Days of Summer. Lars and the Real Girl. Happythankyoumoreplease. The Way Way Back. These are the movies that make you have feelings. The ones you just HAVE to tell your friends about. Dude, really, watch it, it’s like, top 5. But don’t worry, I’m not just an indie groupie. I like other genres too…stupid comedies (21/22 Jump Streets, Horrible Bosses), sci-fi thrillers (Oblivion, Edge of Tomorrow), action thrillers (Lone Survivor, Mission Impossible(s), Bourne Series), and even chick flicks (The Devil Wears Prada, Something Borrowed, The Notebook, Mean Girls). Seriously, I could go on and on. But I won’t. I’ll just stop here.

PS – If you want a chuckle and like the show New Girl, look up the trailer for Let’s Be Cops. Unless you are at work, offended by foul language, offended by the millennial generation’s taste in comedy, are any of my parents (seriously, this one is not parent friendly!), or have impressionable kids around. It’s funny, but it’s definitely rated R.

 

The Mighty Gideon

So, I decided not to do a professional photography session for Gideon’s 2 year old pictures. I was just too preoccupied (lazy?) to look up local photographers. Instead, I snapped a few of my own. I’m hoping he doesn’t hold it against me later…

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Going, going, going!

Quick! Snap a picture, he’s standing still!

Green on green...oops!

Green on green…oops!

Running downhill while the photographer (that's me!) tries to keep up. Man, these old bones don't move like they used to.

Running downhill while the photographer (that’s me!) tries to keep up. These old bones don’t move like they used to.

If only he wasn't wearing green...ahhh! What is he, a chameleon? (And yes, I had to google how to spell chameleon. That's a tricky one...right? Right?!)

If only he wasn’t wearing green! What is he, a chameleon? (PS – I had to google how to spell chameleon. That’s a tricky one, right? Right?!)

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Morning giggles in his pj’s. He loves sitting in the chair we got him for his birthday!

 THE END!

 

And then he was 2…

TWO! That’s 730 days of being a Mommy; 730 days of changing diapers; 730 days of keeping a human being alive! It’s harder than you think it would be… in the early days, you just want to stay awake and make sure that baby is breathing all night long. And then he wakes up 3-4 times a night and you no longer worry about that.  A year without sleep really does take a toll one’s body! Luckily (?) for us, Gideon finally figured out how to sleep through the night right after he turned 1.

Time really does fly when you have kids. Gone are the days of sleeping in on the weekends and watching movies all night. I mean, what exactly did we do before Gideon? Oh right, we played Call of Duty till 3 in the morning and went out to dinner in peace and quiet. Oh, there’s kids next to us? Could we sit somewhere else? HA! Life sure is different, but we wouldn’t trade it for anything else. This munchkin has enriched our lives far beyond what we could have imagined. He teaches us about love, kindness, patience, patience, and more patience. But enough of the goopy stuff, let me share with you what Gideon’s real birthday was like…

The morning of his birthday, we planned to both get up with him and spend all morning together. He usually wakes up around 7:15/7:30am but instead decided to get wake up at 6:45am. I’ll admit, I am not a morning person. To me, there’s even a difference between waking up at 6:59am and waking up at 7:00am. If there’s still a six on my clock, I don’t see the point. Anyway, we planned to take him to the “good” park in Virginia and then go into DC to get his favorite Neapolitan pizza at 2Amy’s. Simple right? A nice, relaxing way to celebrate his 2nd birthday. Nope. Wrong. He was the exact definition of a terrible two year old. He threw his crust on the floor, he threw his crayons on the floor, he threw my phone (!!) across the room…I was never so happy to see the check! It’s generally a loud restaurant and maybe some people didn’t even notice. But WE noticed….and WE were mortified. He’s never behaved this badly in a restaurant (especially at his favorite pizza place!) and we were at a loss on what to do. This kid may have went to bed as a 23 month old, but he definitely woke up as a 2 year old! I’m happy to report that this hasn’t happened again in the last two times we’ve gone out to eat, but I think we’ll be eating at home more for the sake of other patrons. Don’t want to unleash the monster in public again. This is normal, yes? I honestly didn’t know the terrible twos would be quite so literal! Steady as we go…

The Pool is Relaxing…?

Yes, that question mark was purposeful. (A la Ron Burgandy.) Because when I think of the pool, I think of relaxing pool side and roaming around the pool waters with wondrous delight. Yep, wondrous delight. Summer days at the pool were the greatest, weren’t they? I’d bike there with my cousins and spend the whole afternoon there. My greatest worries would be: Would there be a cute lifeguard today? Would I get frozen skittles or frozen starbursts? Should I dive for pennies or just float around the deep end? Man, childhood rocked! The pool rocked!

Fast forward 20 years and the pool seems far less relaxing. Sure, it can be fun…and sure, my son LOVES it…but geez Louise there’s so much prep! And here’s why…

You must pack everything possible that you may or may not need. This includes:
1. Giant tote bag
2. Sunscreen
3. Ice water for me
4. Ice water for the kid
5. Floaties…so my kid doesn’t drown
6. Noodle…so I don’t drown in the ‘deep end’ (Yeah…I may BE 5 ft tall, but Mama’s head needs to remain ABOVE the water)
7. Diapers (Swim diapers only hold for so long…) Plus, treading water while holding a toddler is kinda hard.
8. Towels…plural
9. Sunglasses for me and the kid
10. Snacks (Because swimming makes you hungry)

So, that’s 10 items. TEN ITEMS. For ONE trip to the pool. And that’s just getting there! Once we get settled, we have to sunscreen everyone up, put the floaties on, and then master the pool steps. Yay, we can relax now right? Umm no, facebook told me about secondary drowning last week. So, we won’t be playing the dunking game anymore. Oh, you want to float on your back for 10 minutes? How about just one minute? Because you might get swimmer’s ear. Look, Mom brought your ball (make that 11 items!). What, you don’t want this ball? You want the other kid’s ball? Hmm…Okay.

And then finally (finally!), something happens…something relaxing happens. The baby is content…splashing, floating, laughing. Pure joy written all over his face. And you realize it was all worth it. Because the pool is for kids (and childless adults…margaritas anyone?!). We’re just along for the ride.

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10 Things I Didn’t Think I’d Ever Do

“(24/7) once you sign on to be a mother, that’s the only shift they offer.”
– Jodi Picoult

1. Use a tube (NoseFrida the Snot Sucker) to suck the snot out of my kid’s nose and fake laugh after each suction so he thinks it’s a game. Otherwise, he thinks I am purposefully torturing him and cries crocodile tears, which only brings on more snot.

2. Drive to another state because they have an awesome playground.

3. Squirt medicine down my kid’s throat like he’s a dog. Yes, exactly like a dog…it’s that hard!

4. Be more excited for a sale on kid’s clothes than my own.

5. Trip over the same toy multiple times. Even though I JUST put it away, it always reappears!

6. Take a piece of bird poop from my child’s hands. Check!

7. Pay $5 for a gallon of Organic milk.

8. Get my finger chomped on when checking to see if my kid is cutting a tooth… and hoping that explains why he’s waking up at the crack of dawn and being such a terror. I mean, seriously, when someone has clamped their teeth around your finger, what is your first instinct? Uh huh, mine too…

9. Crying because he’s crying after being punished for doing something naughty. Yes, I am weak. And it’s true what my Mother always said… this is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you.

10. Waiting for the garbage truck to come so I can put my kid down for his nap and being mad because he’s late. Mama’s gotta shower people!! (Note: Gideon LOVES to watch the garbage truck and will scream in his crib if he hears it but can’t see it).

And there you go! I’m sure there’s more, but those are the ones that come to mind at the moment. No one ever said Motherhood was glamorous! In truth, the good far outweighs the bad, but some days, I tell ya…