Hey 2004, I like your television show

I’m back baby doll! Indeed, it’s been a while. And I’ll be honest with you…I’ve been binging on Veronica Mars. Holy 2004! Where was I?! She’s so darn precocious I could slap myself! But alas, the show ends in 2oo7. (Spoiler alert!) Only to reprise in a feature film… hooray! I’m halfway through the series, so I need to start pacing myself…we’ve still got a lot of Summer left y’all. And that my friends is what I’ve been doing with my evenings. Oh and reading novels again. Geez, I really AM on summer vacation! That’s the bad thing about books from the library though…they add undue pressure. Due dates?? It’s like school all over again. I’ll finish reading it when I’m good and ready, thanks! I have a toddler you know…he wakes up early. Speaking of toddler (you knew it was coming!), he has now learned defiance. It only took 26 months, but “No, NO!” is now his favorite phrase. So yeah, that’s been fun. It’s really neat to see him become more communicative. But now that he can tell me what he wants, he repeats it over and over and OVER. There’s no distracting him anymore. He wants what he wants when he wants it…which is now! Lucky for me, his requests aren’t too hard to bring to fruition. With my Mommy powers, I be like…

GIF Credit: aliceinreaderland.com

 

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The Pool is Relaxing…?

Yes, that question mark was purposeful. (A la Ron Burgandy.) Because when I think of the pool, I think of relaxing pool side and roaming around the pool waters with wondrous delight. Yep, wondrous delight. Summer days at the pool were the greatest, weren’t they? I’d bike there with my cousins and spend the whole afternoon there. My greatest worries would be: Would there be a cute lifeguard today? Would I get frozen skittles or frozen starbursts? Should I dive for pennies or just float around the deep end? Man, childhood rocked! The pool rocked!

Fast forward 20 years and the pool seems far less relaxing. Sure, it can be fun…and sure, my son LOVES it…but geez Louise there’s so much prep! And here’s why…

You must pack everything possible that you may or may not need. This includes:
1. Giant tote bag
2. Sunscreen
3. Ice water for me
4. Ice water for the kid
5. Floaties…so my kid doesn’t drown
6. Noodle…so I don’t drown in the ‘deep end’ (Yeah…I may BE 5 ft tall, but Mama’s head needs to remain ABOVE the water)
7. Diapers (Swim diapers only hold for so long…) Plus, treading water while holding a toddler is kinda hard.
8. Towels…plural
9. Sunglasses for me and the kid
10. Snacks (Because swimming makes you hungry)

So, that’s 10 items. TEN ITEMS. For ONE trip to the pool. And that’s just getting there! Once we get settled, we have to sunscreen everyone up, put the floaties on, and then master the pool steps. Yay, we can relax now right? Umm no, facebook told me about secondary drowning last week. So, we won’t be playing the dunking game anymore. Oh, you want to float on your back for 10 minutes? How about just one minute? Because you might get swimmer’s ear. Look, Mom brought your ball (make that 11 items!). What, you don’t want this ball? You want the other kid’s ball? Hmm…Okay.

And then finally (finally!), something happens…something relaxing happens. The baby is content…splashing, floating, laughing. Pure joy written all over his face. And you realize it was all worth it. Because the pool is for kids (and childless adults…margaritas anyone?!). We’re just along for the ride.

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10 Things I Didn’t Think I’d Ever Do

“(24/7) once you sign on to be a mother, that’s the only shift they offer.”
– Jodi Picoult

1. Use a tube (NoseFrida the Snot Sucker) to suck the snot out of my kid’s nose and fake laugh after each suction so he thinks it’s a game. Otherwise, he thinks I am purposefully torturing him and cries crocodile tears, which only brings on more snot.

2. Drive to another state because they have an awesome playground.

3. Squirt medicine down my kid’s throat like he’s a dog. Yes, exactly like a dog…it’s that hard!

4. Be more excited for a sale on kid’s clothes than my own.

5. Trip over the same toy multiple times. Even though I JUST put it away, it always reappears!

6. Take a piece of bird poop from my child’s hands. Check!

7. Pay $5 for a gallon of Organic milk.

8. Get my finger chomped on when checking to see if my kid is cutting a tooth… and hoping that explains why he’s waking up at the crack of dawn and being such a terror. I mean, seriously, when someone has clamped their teeth around your finger, what is your first instinct? Uh huh, mine too…

9. Crying because he’s crying after being punished for doing something naughty. Yes, I am weak. And it’s true what my Mother always said… this is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you.

10. Waiting for the garbage truck to come so I can put my kid down for his nap and being mad because he’s late. Mama’s gotta shower people!! (Note: Gideon LOVES to watch the garbage truck and will scream in his crib if he hears it but can’t see it).

And there you go! I’m sure there’s more, but those are the ones that come to mind at the moment. No one ever said Motherhood was glamorous! In truth, the good far outweighs the bad, but some days, I tell ya…

 

Night of the Tornado….Warning.

We’re on vacation in sunny Florida! Or so we thought when we arrived earlier last week. Day 1…Cloudy. Day 2…rain & TORNADO WARNINGS. Day 3…FLOODS. Why did we come here again? Now, we used to live in the Midwest, so tornado watches weren’t no thang. But tornado warnings? That’s cloud rotation people…a tornado is imminent!! Of course we get the first tornado warning right before my favorite show, The Mindy Project, comes on and the satellite goes out. So, there’s no television to keep me entertained and there’s no way to see what the local weatherman is saying. Just an iPhone cutting out during a live broadcast — Storm is the worst at {buffering}….now headed towards {buffering}… stay inside. Ummm, WHAT? And it must’ve been the slowest storm EVER because our tornado warnings kept extending themselves in half hour increments. Seriously, it lasted almost two hours! By the first half hour, I’m in full panic mode. I’ve lost it. My whole body feels like jelly. The power starts flickering on and off…on and off…on and off.  All the while, my husband and mother just look on in amusement. I finally just grab all the cushions from the couch and drag them into the hallway. My toddler is fast asleep for the night so I have strategically placed myself outside his room. That way I can grab him, grab a couch cushion, and get in the tub at any moment’s notice! I did not want to wake this child for fear of him never going back to sleep in his own bed that night. (Do you know how hard it is to get a toddler down while on vacation? It’s HARD, like real hard!) Meanwhile, my mother is saying “Don’t forget the baby!” as she always used to yell when we first saw the movie Night of the Twisters (Devon Sawa, anyone?). She’s also saying things like, “You don’t need to panic until you hear the sound of a train coming.” Yeah right! Though the threat of tornadoes eventually dissipate, the rain stays and stays and stays. We get so much rain that we can’t get out of the neighborhood because of all the flooding in the streets. Not even in a pickup truck. So, we go back to the house and wait for Day 4.

Nowhere to go...

Nowhere to go…

First. Blogpost. Ever.

Hey y’all! I finally started my own blog…better late than never I suppose! I’m not quite sure what type of blog this will be, but let’s just say it will be a ‘lifestyle’ blog. Fair warning, there will be a lot of kid stuff… like A LOT. Being a stay at home/work from home Mom, my kid pretty much rules my world right now. But don’t worry, I’ll be sure to sprinkle in a little pop culture and some of my favorite recipes. You’ll also be sure to find posts about my random adventures in DC. For now, I’ll leave you with a picture of the light of my life, Mr. Gideon.

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